langleav:

Pre-order my new book Lullabies now and save 30% via Amazon, BN.comor get FREE Worldwide Shipping at The Book Depository.

  • me after every conversation: shit they'll never wanna talk to me again






souljannoying:

in order to correctly speak German you have to yell everything angrily 

(Source: pemsylvania)



yellowtulipfinch:

Dog wrestling pile!!

tropicalfruitbabe:

*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*



maxolines:

sassy-spoon:

nerdbird:

Google is definitely a woman, it starts suggesting things before you can even finish your sentence.

That must mean Bing is a man, tries to convince people it’s superior and does a horrible job with pleasing its user.

image



lovingvaldaya:

Robin Williams’ passing is a reminder that those who make us laugh the most are usually fighting the biggest demons.







cluts:

Ray Nakazawa





  • Europeans: I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
  • Americans: I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.